One of the hardest feelings to deal with is accepting that someone doesn’t feel the same way about you. Because no matter how much you think of them, or how much you wish they would feel the same in return; Sometimes life isn’t that simple. And when things like this happen I begin to question whether there is such a thing as ‘true love’ anyway. It makes you question your trust with everyone you know. But regardless of all of the memories, the words -you’ve got to accept and respect yourself enough to walk away. I don’t know when these feelings will go, I’m not sure if they ever will. And believe me, fighting the whole “wanting them to be happy” and “wanting them to be happy with you” is difficult. I really am done with the whole thing, and if I could turn it all off even just for a second I really would because it sucks. It sucks being so paranoid and ‘over-thinky’. Worrying every time they go out incase they find someone; feeling inadequate whenever the topic of relationships are bought up; feeling so vulnerable because all of your cards are on the table, them being able to read you like an open book when you have absolutely no idea what or if they are thinking about you at all.
But love is crazy. It’s beautiful, reckless, frustrating- and you have absolutely no control over it. So never blame yourself. Right now I can’t say how long it will take before you’ll be okay with it all. I can’t say if you ever will find ‘the one’ because nobody can see the future. And it sometimes feels as if being knocked back is like falling into a hole; every time it happens it’s as if you fall harder- and it’s a lot more difficult to climb out again. But I’d like to believe that everything happens for a reason. Though it’s not always clear where the lesson lies, there’s one somewhere. So don’t rush into things, take things slow and don’t over think (even though it’s hard not to).
People are like puzzles: every one is different, and it takes time to understand each of the shapes that make up a person. Often we find people who we ‘click’ with, who can completely understand you and stay with you forever. Sometimes the pieces don’t fit and that shouldn’t be a problem: because when all of your pieces are together they make up a picture. A bigger picture. An image wouldn’t look or feel right if the pieces were in the wrong place. So stay true. To yourself, to the people around you.. and hopefully one day you’ll be able to look back at a picture worth looking at.
Love is Love,